So hard to see this stalled peace process in the West Bank. Of course, I have an interest here because Tim, my younger brother lives in Ramallah. This is a sad video that shows just how difficult it is to make a showing of discontent in light of the Israeli Military. I liked this because it showed the territory really nicely, how pretty and green it looks right now. And it profiles the real people who have to live with this conflict every day. Tim isn't doing much travel in this area, but you wonder about the protest's reach as this could be a scene down the street from where he lives it's so common. Just the shots of the Military with their rubber bullets makes everyone jumpy. And people react badly in situations like this. It just happens. The end shot of the video is so poignant as it shows this little kid throwing stones on a hill-top, an innocent gesture, that in this region is implicitly dangerous.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Flickr Photo: Most Photographed Post Office
I like it. The little monument out front looks like weird and breaks up the beauty of the photo-what a shame huh?
Like the washed out color of the sky and the icy feel of the snow. like the mountains in the distance too. Icicles too- to see it large is the thing to get it. Will make this person a contact.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Crazy Heart & Paper Heart
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/paper_heart/ In contrast, Paper Heart, a kind of faux documentary about love starring Charlyne Yi and Michael Cera is terrific for completely different reasons. The making of extra on the DVD is fascinating and revealing about Charlyne. The idea started as improv but grew into something meaningful once she gets to learn from the seasoned Cera. There are some amazing sections of the film that are animated with Charlyne taking on the role of puppeteer. Lovely film and better than I expected. Saw it on a Netflix DVD and it was much better than the 60 rating on the rotten tomato meter.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
2 videos about Haiti from NY Times
Monday, January 25, 2010
Earthquake Day in Port au Prince « Rollings in Haiti
Earthquake Day in Port au Prince
13 01 2010Yesterday was absolutely terrible. I’m going to share my whole experience because I’m hoping it will be therapeutic. In any case I think I’m going to have nightmares for a long time.
I spent the day in Port au Prince getting a loaner vehicle from the Toyota dealer and then taking care of some mission business. On my way out of town in the afternoon, I was on Delmas 9 (I think) and the loaner vehicle I had just picked up broke down. I called the dealer to come get it. Shortly after they arrived, the earthquake hit.
I’m ashamed of the first thought that went through my mind, which was “Cool, I’ve never been in a big earthquake before!” As the quake rolled on, though, I remembered the conversations I’ve had with the other missionaries about what an earthquake would mean for Haiti. Of course, it would be devastating. Construction materials and methods aren’t just shoddy, they’re suicidal, but now isn’t the time to rampage, just to tell you about my experiences.
I didn’t actually fall on the ground, but I stumbled around quite a bit. When the tremors ceased, a large dust cloud was rising from the building a few doors down. A 3 story school full of teenage girls had collapsed. I stood around looking stupid for longer than I’d like to admit. I looked at the truck from Toyota, tried to call my wife (the service was out) and looked around me at people’s reactions. Virtually everyone reacted in strange ways. Eventually, I went to the school and started working to pull trapped students from the wreckage.
The work was very hard because I was working by myself. People would come up and shout into the wreckage, “Is so-and-so inside?” at the top of their lungs repeatedly. I would ask for help in moving rubble and they would say they have to find their own people. One guy stayed and helped, on and off. I got one girl out, who was very frantic. I told her to stop shouting and pray for help. She was about 10 feet deep under the collapsed cement roof of the building. At one point I went and borrowed a hammer from someone to break up the large piece of cement that she was trapped behind. The aftershocks scared the crap out of me, and I really didn’t like being under that cement slab. There was an obviously dead woman under the slab with us.
When the girl was out, I took my hammer and moved over to find the next trapped girl. All I could see was her face and left arm, and she frantically called out to me. I asked her to calm down because it would help me to work and asked her to pray for both of us. She calmed down and became very brave. I was having trouble seeing her where she was jammed under the slab. I pulled out a very large piece of rubble that didn’t really help Jacqueline at all (her name was Jacqueline). There was some sort of object behind that rubble and when I went to move it it turned out to be another girl’s bottom. The girl cried out but I could barely hear her – her whole head was underneath rubble.
At this point I began to realize that I was in over my head. All I had was a hammer, and it was quickly becoming pitch dark with twilight fading and no electricity anywhere. I tried to borrow a flashlight, but it was impossible. I had a moment of feeling intense helplessness. After thinking and praying for a minute, I told Jacqueline that I had to leave her and find more help. I couldn’t do anything without a flashlight, and she needed to keep praying and remember that her parents were coming to look for her.
I walked 4 or 5 miles to a place where I could get a bus, then got on one eventually made it home just after 9pm. On my way home, I resolved to return to Port au Prince the next day with 2 trucks full of tools and workers to do whatever we could. I met a guy on the bus who was holding a sandwich. He had left his house to go buy a sandwich when the earthquake hit. He returned to his home to find it flattened, then went to the school that he teaches at to find it flattened. With nothing left but a sandwich in his hand, and $7 in his sock, he set out for Cap Haitien to be with the rest of his family.
I slept a little bit last night even though I kept thinking of Jacqueline and her classmate stuck in the rubble, in the dark. This morning all of the workers enthusiastically loaded all the tools we could use into the trucks along with food and water and set off for Port au Prince. I took them to the school and quickly made my way to the place Jacqueline and the other student were but both of them were dead.
Some of the local people had been working through the night to rescue their loved ones. They had found lighting and hack saws and had already pulled some people out, including a lot of bodies. We joined their efforts with our power tools. Quickly, we pulled out two more living girls and then a third. The fourth and fifth were a lot more work and each had a severely crushed foot. After that, there were no more cries for help, even when everybody went quiet in order to listen. Lots of dead bodies were still stuck, but getting at them would require large machines.
At that point, I decided to tackle the problem of the growing pile of bodies, which were starting to smell. A volunteer from the community collected all the identifying information he could, and the various family members all signed off. It turned out to be a mistake. The General Hospital, which houses Port au Prince’s only government run morgue, has been destroyed. After we had already loaded the bodies (10 or so) the problem was explained to me. I saw some nuns driving by and asked them where I could find a morgue and they told me that they buried their dead directly, and they heard talk of a big hole being dug out by Ti Tanyen for the others. So we unloaded the bodies back into the lane, where I’m sure they still remain.
We spent an hour boring a hole through a floor into a collapsed chamber to try to rescue a 2 year old child but the cries had stopped before we even began.
We’re not going to go back tomorrow because I strongly suspect that most people that can be rescued have already been rescued, and buildings that still have survivors will have plenty of volunteers from now on. Today was by far the most important day for rescues.
This has been a very emotional experience for me. The bodies stopped bothering me after a while, but I think what I will always carry with me is the conversation I had with Jacqueline before I left her. How could I leave someone who was dying, trapped in a building! That’s so wrong! At the very least, she needed someone to sit and comfort her in her last hours. But if I hadn’t found my way home last night, then today I wouldn’t have been able to bring the CWH crew in. Still, leaving her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. She seemed so brave when I left! I told her I was going to get help, but I didn’t tell her I would be gone until morning. I think this is going to trouble me for a long time.
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Author : Chris-->
- Date : January 13, 2010
- Categories : Uncategorized
130 responses
13 01 2010 gramma rolling (20:19:45) :
Don’t be hard on yourself Chris — sometimes you have to put the common good ahead of the individual. You did the best you could.
My heart is aching for those schoolgirls and their families, and all the suffering people there tonight. May God grant you a decent night’s sleep so that tomorrow you can continue with your important work. We are so proud of, and humbled by, the person you are13 01 2010 Candis (20:30:10) :
Words fail. We are trying to get money out asap. Best wishes, prayers, and hopes
13 01 2010 13 01 2010 Bea (20:45:37) :
This earthquake was worse than the Sichuan earthquake of 2008. I think the death toll there was between 70 to 80,000. These natural disasters are so heartbreaking.
13 01 2010 13 01 2010 Morrie & Jean Foutch (21:31:34) :
Chris, we were stunned at what we saw on TV this evening and literally speachless at your experience with the thought of a 3 story building full of girls collapsing. As an old medic, dont feel sorry for the dead but try to save the living wherever possible. Hope and help is on the way. The Navy dispatched a carrier, the Vincent, today & it will arrive tomorrow with water, food, medical help & choppers. The Marines have or will dispatch a brigade of troops tonite; hopefully they will bring an engineering battalion with heavy lift cranes to help remove slabs, etc.
Jean & I are friends of your folks and we are proud of you and your workers in what you have tried to do down there. God bless all of you and keep working. We intend to send some money.13 01 2010 Mike Powell (21:34:12) :
It’s hard to imagine the tragedies that are unfolding infront of your eyes. God had you in the right place at the right time when the quack struck. You were safe. The car broke down and kept you out of the city! You were able to rescue the one girl from physical death and were there to pray with Jacqueline and save her spiritual life. In times of panic your reactions were perfect. I pray for God’s peace and comfort in your times of sorrow. A member of Vernon Alliance Church we are and will be praying with you.
13 01 2010 Scarlett (21:38:39) :
I’m so glad you and your family are alright. Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope it does help theraputically for you. Can’t imagine what that must have been like or how it feels, but I know you did what you could with what you had.
13 01 2010 Adele (21:40:40) :
Chris, I wish I could take away the pain you are feeling over Jacqueline. My heart goes out to you. You did what you needed to do and because of that, you were able to return with help and more lives were saved. Don’t forget that. Be gentle with yourself. Our prayers are with you.
Adele
13 01 2010 Theresa (21:44:29) :
Words escape me…
I have to agree with “gramma rolling” above. “sometimes you have to put the common good ahead of the individual” Because you left Jacqueline yesterday and got home last night, you were able to come back today with more help and get those other girls out of the rubble.
Our prayers will be with you & the rest of those that were with you today as you try to process all you saw today.
Thank you for being God’s hands today!
13 01 2010 Danielle (21:58:06) :
I feel that you did the best possible thing.
Jacqueline must have been terrified the first few minutes… then you arrived.
We all think twice about what we “should of done” or “should have said” but that’s history now. You tried to help. I’m sorry to remind you, but there are a lot of people who wouldn’t.
I’m Proud of You.
Love Danielle,
13 01 2010 Jennifer Larson (22:06:52) :
I am in Rotary with Jerry. Just know we are all thinking about you and all in Haiti. We know you are doing all that you can do. Take care.
13 01 2010 Mike Grover (22:27:48) :
Chris, we’ve not met, but I know your parents, and I organized a fundraiser for CWFH a few years ago at the bank I work at in Portland. I want to join the chorus of people telling you that you did everything you could for Jacqueline. Also, you and Leslie are doing a great service to the world (in addition to everything you do already) by giving us these reports that help us to connect with what has happened on a more personal level. We’re having another fundraiser at my work on Friday to raise money for Mercy Corps, an organization here in Portland that is sending aid workers to Haiti. I hope everyone will give what they can.
13 01 2010 Claudia (22:42:17) :
Our prayers are with you constantly, Chris. Your post is being widely circulated and raising money. God bless you all.
13 01 2010 Christine (22:50:04) :
Chris, I echo what others have written. Especially in terms of being gentle with yourself. I’m relieved you and your family are safe. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please be kind to yourself.
Christine
13 01 2010 Wayne (22:50:23) :
Chris,
What you are experiencing can scarcely be comprehended by anyone from the outside. It is unspeakable. If you were not deeply affected by it, you would not be human. May the Lord be close to you and all the brothers and sisters in Christ during the difficult times ahead. Grace and Peace to all.
I hope this is OK with you, but I’d like to repost your comments above on my blog http://libertywatchman.com. I think it’s important for everyone in the US to understand the gravity of what has befallen Haiti and your first person account of what happened should be required reading for we comfortable Americans.
Wayne Cummings (know you from DuPage Vineyard, Illinois)
14 01 2010 13 01 2010 SIP (22:53:46) :
You did what you could and I am thankful for people like you. Our prayers are with you. Please don’t stop caring or helping.
13 01 2010 Lori Lyon (23:01:56) :
Chris & Leslie,
I thank God you are all ok and I pray daily for Haiti. Your blog was very heart wrenching. It’s hard to imagine what’s going on there so thank you for sharing. Your help did have meaning and I pray that God will use this horrible event to bring more help to Haiti now and in the future.13 01 2010 Thanks for your honesty Chris
I know there is nothing I can say that will take away your pain. I know that throughout the ordeal you prayed for knowlege of Gods will for you and the power to carry that out and as such you did what God directed you to do. As a person who has lived in Haiti and has lived through some horrible times, somewhat like this, I know that hard decisions have to be made. I know in Haiti when it gets dark and chaos is already in full force that inocent people get killed for no reason and I know you know that. You took care of yourself, your family and the future of Clean Water For Haiti by ensuring that you made it home alive. There is no cowardice in that as a matter of fact it is common practice in emergency response. You did what you could and in fact more than you had to by coming back. You saved lives this day and each day that you provide clean water for the People of Haiti you save even more lives. I have walked with you in other times of horror, like when Tony Got shot in our yard and I know that you respond in a level headed fashion first considering others until it is unsafe for you. This is no different. You Made the Right Choice!!! You made the decision, with God’s help, to live another day and to fight the good fight.
Se pou Gras ak Lanmou Bondye kontinye touche Nanm ou e kenbe ou an sekirite!
Tal13 01 2010 "Cheesy" Carolyn (23:47:10) :
Love and prayers to you all, Chris. May you feel God holding you up and leading you through the next hours, days, weeks…
13 01 2010 13 01 2010 14 01 2010 Mom Lockhart (00:21:30) :
Chris, go easy on your self. You did the best you could with what you had and God knows that. He chose you to be the one to talk & pray with Jacqueline and now she is in His loving care. He kept safe and able to bring help as soon as possible to save more lives. Praying that God will grant you peace and rest.
Mom & Dad Lockhart14 01 2010 Barbara (00:37:34) :
Dear Chris and Leslie,
I am a friend of your Mom and Dad at Columbia Pres. There have been many prayers for you and your family going out in the last 24 hours, for your safety. My prayers will now change and concentrate on your being able to accept the things your cannot change, and be thankful that you acted on the things that you could change. This tragedy will be one that will be with you for a long time, but you brought spiritual help to one person yesterday, and returned to help with more supplies today. Our prayers continue for the country of Haiti, the rescue efforts and, and the hope that through God people like yourself will bring comfort and help to those who need it so desperately. We will be sending a check to Water for Haiti to help in the future need for safe drinking water.14 01 2010 14 01 2010 14 01 2010 Danny (01:27:03) :
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-714 01 2010 Meghan (01:35:52) :
Chris, thank you for humbling all of us and giving us a real account of what is going on over there. Your courage is very inspiring!
14 01 2010 Matt (02:05:35) :
Nothing I can think of to say sounds like anything other than a cliche. May God give you strength, rest, peace as you continue to help those you can reach in the days ahead. Our prayers are with you and Leslie and Liv – and all of your staff.
14 01 2010 14 01 2010 Benjamin (02:10:18) :
Chris,
You, your fam and all of the CWH team are in my prayers today especially – as always.
Zami ou,
Benjamin14 01 2010 14 01 2010 jacky mills (02:58:34) :
Guys this my first time on your page and I think I’ll just say : God Bless ya’ll and I’ll pray steadly for ya’lls strength and blessings. Cant even image the emotional toll this taking on you guys alone and the loveones that have pairished and are still unfound. Gods Speed
Jacky mills Pensacola,Fl14 01 2010 14 01 2010 Nic Robinson (06:50:34) :
Chris, I don’t know you but I know what you are going through. You did the right thing. Your safety and that of other rescuers is paramount. I know you will never ‘get over’ this, it is a life changing experience. You have been very brave to share the experience so truthfully, I hope it has helped. It certainly puts our simple lives into perspective……….there are people in the UK complaining about not having public transport due to snow, grow up I say.
God speed to the world wide rescue services and let’s pray for more survivors.
Thoughts and prayers are with you all.14 01 2010 Marcia hlavacek (07:33:50) :
You wonderful young man ……..you dud all that you could. She was not alone. God was holding her and welcoming her home.
14 01 2010 Angela (08:01:16) :
Chris,
My heart is heavy for you and Leslie and the people of Haiti. Please know that you are in my prayers.I can understand how terrible you must have felt leaving Jacqueline. But she wasn’t alone in her last hours on this side. Jesus was with her.
We can trust His heart of compassion for all these suffering and hurting people.
14 01 2010 Pam Massey (09:25:41) :
Chris,
By putting your experiences out, you did the best thing to help yourself and certainly to enlighten others. You were exactly where God wanted you to be and when He wanted you there. Without going into detail, I truly understand what you are feeling right now. You’ll never forget it but you will learn to live with it and God will work you through it. I contacted Leslie by email so she can get you in touch with me if you need to talk. Just know that much love and many prayers are being sent for you & yours and Canaan Orphanage as well as the rest of Haiti. God bless & keep ya’ll14 01 2010 Shari (09:46:59) :
Chris,
I am friends with the Craig’s, who are on there way as soon as they can.
I am moved to tears by your account. Please rest in the knowledge that you did what you could with what you had at the time. I will be praying for you in the a days to come, as you minister to the Haitian people.
Blessings upon you!14 01 2010 Ann (10:09:57) :
Chris & Leslie,
My heart grieves for you both as well as for the families of all those people. I truely cannot imagine what you have experienced. Your description of your feeling of helplessness touches me. It really depicts how helpless and depend completely upon our Lord and Savior we are. My prayers are with you and your family. God knows how to heal and comfort you and those around you. It is amazing that you were able to function at all. Praise God for your giving hearts. (We are missionaries doing a filter project in Tanzania….Tal sent me your info…)
14 01 2010 Les Bendo (10:10:56) :
Chris, thank you for being you. Keep talking about what you are doing, seeing and feeling. It is important for you to communicate your feelings. This is the only way you will be able to heal from the experiences that you are going through. Leslie keep talking to Chris when ever you see him, these types of experiences can devastating on a person. Our prayers are with you and the people of Haiti.
Les, Maryann, Samantha, Stephie and Sarah14 01 2010 Heather Z (10:18:04) :
On Behalf of my family, Thank you for being there for those people. I just got a thought in my mind that I needed to share. I had recently seen a sermon and it was about someone who did what they could. And how as Humans that is what we aught to do. And that line came to me as I posted this to my facebook. “You did what you could”. God would be proud of you for that. No one is perfect no one can fix everything, but You DID what you could!! Instead No One could have chose to help and to be there to comfort them, but you Chose instantly to help and You helped alone, and you did what you could. That makes you a hero. Thank you and May God Bless you and Heal you so that you may continue to show his love now when it is so important. My prayers are with you and the area and country.
14 01 2010 14 01 2010 Ingrid (11:12:04) :
I am sobbing and sobbing as I read. I am so sorry for your experience. You did the best you could. God Bless to you, your family and to all the people of Haiti.
14 01 2010 Vanessa Spady (11:27:58) :
Chris, you are a gentle, generous, kind soul who did everything you know how to help these people that you don’t even know. You gave, and helped, and saved lives; please remember that.
Unfortunately, because you are a gentle, generous, kind soul, you will suffer for the losses of so many people, and for what you could not do to save them. This is the hardest part of caring, and being sensitive.
As your whole community suffers, please be gentle with yourselves. I can recommend something for PTSD, which millions of people there will now be dealing with in addition to a lack of resources, shelter, and health care. There is a treatment called EMDR that many of the responders will be trained to help with as part of a greater counseling and relief effort. It’s a simple and very effective method for helping with the nightmares and horrors of what you’re living through. Please, when you have the opportunity to do so, check around your area, and see if it is available through a red cross center or relief workers (or even a ministry). It was used for rescue workers after 911, and is used for survivors of plane crashes, kidnapping/hostage events, and war veterans… all the fun ways to get PTSD.
I feel enormously for you now, and send you love and strength.
I wish for peace for you,
Vanessa14 01 2010 Dan (11:41:53) :
Hi Chris & Leslie,
We’ve not officially met – I’m Doug & Adele’s son. Just want you to know that our hearts go out to you and the people of Haiti right now. We are praying for you.
Dan
14 01 2010 Leo Schmidt (11:47:55) :
Chris, Glad to know you, Leslie, and Olivia are okay. Saddened at the loss in Haiti.
All you can do is what you can do – and you have done more to help those in need than most of us will in a lifetime.
God Bless & Best Wishes,
Leo14 01 2010 14 01 2010 Darnell W (12:11:01) :
Hi Chris, after reading your post my heart began to cry for those who experienced this tragedy. I commend you for your bravery and charity to the people of Haiti. Your contributions to the people of Haiti exhibit characteristics of a “Good Samaritan” and a heart of love. God Bless You.
14 01 2010 Carolyn (12:41:46) :
Rollings,
I was unaware of your mission until today. I saw the link to your blog on a Facebook post from a friend in Virginia. We live in San Diego. Your message is far reaching. Please know that you are impacting many for Christ, not only in Haiti but here in the US. Amidst the horror, “Be still and know that I am God.”
Carolyn
14 01 2010 Melodie G. (12:55:47) :
Take comfort in those that you were able to extract from the rubble. It is not ours to decide when/if it may be someone’s time to meet the Lord. My heart is heavy for all of the people of Haiti and those that are there on the ground trying to make a difference. My prayers are with all of you.
14 01 2010
